What completes us?

The answer to this question varies from person to person. However, the true feeling is usually static. The answer is a self-serving response to make others believe that you are in control of your life and decisions. We tend to convince ourselves of what we have as being the thing that completes us. That can be a current job, profession, current boyfriend or girlfriend, being single, being married, living with our children, etc. The feeling is far from that. We are rarely completely satisfied. We tend to always want something that is absent.

When we take the time to analyze our own lives and the lives of those close to us or the lives of celebrities, etc., we find that there are lessons to be learned. That we must always give up something to get something, that there is no perfection in anything we do or anyone we meet. Then we realize that we must make a list of those things that most satisfy us. Make a list of wants and needs, which should complete us. Certainly, prioritizing those things that truly make us happy is very important. Happiness, of course is all relative. What makes me happy could make you angry or uncomfortable.

Hence, we must be true on the definition of completeness. Accepting less for short term satisfaction, will more than likely end up in a disappointed relationship, disappointed children, parents and situations. Completeness involves doing the things that we enjoy, the things that we have always done and enjoyed. Do the things that bring us closer to our loved ones. Do the things that make us proud. Do the things that bring satisfaction.

The hardest part of defining completeness is to take the needed time to answer it, as it refers to us and to our true feelings; not to answer it with the things that we tell ourselves it should be, but the things that we truly feel, the things that keep us awake at night, and has us yearning and wanting.

This life of ours is a one-time existence, and we should leave a mark that we existed; but, not that we just existed, but that we did things to enhance and impact the lives of our closest friends and family. We should be striving to live it to the maximum. Anything less than our best crack at a fulfilling life would be disappointing.

Settling is the opposite of completeness. You might have desires to go back to college and finish your degree or attend graduate school, but feel that you are too old for it; this is a sign of settling. I know folks in their 70’s and 80 graduating from college. It is only too late when you say it is too late.  We were given the ability to dream and create for a reason.  If you can envision it, it can happen and be done. You decide the limits you set for your mind.

I see completeness as a journey, not a destination. The desire and pursuit of that which makes you happy and accomplished are the things that get us closer to completeness. The more we start doing towards reaching that which we desire and want, the closer you get to completeness. Focus in enjoying the journey, do the things that make you happy. Do not do anything to please others when you do not feel it or enjoy it. Sometimes, we do things because if we don’t we fear others will talk negatively of us or would make fun of us. When we make decisions to just please others, and we don’t feel it, we live regretting our decisions.

Great living does not include regrets. Completeness searching has no regrets. If it does not feel right, then it, probably, is not for you. We have sensors in our body that tell us when something feels right. Listen to those sensors. Do what feels right, however, I do caution that whatever that is, it should not bring bodily harm to anyone. Hurting someone’s feelings should not be the reason to not do what you want to do, but, causing bodily injury should stop you from doing it.

Don’t get discouraged when things don’t go your way. When things seem like problems are everywhere you step, just remember the following: if you have no problems, you are dead!

Take a risk. Progress does not happen without taking risks. Fortunes are not made without taking risks. Happiness is not acquired without taking risks. Most of us have a more fulfilling life by taking risks.

Feel free to contact me to discuss this topic or other topics @ 973-390-2926 or anibal@anibalalcantarajr.com