Don’t Let Self-Sabotage Derail Your Success: Here’s What You Need to Know

Self-Sabotage Can Hurt Your Business and Relationships, if you let it...

Whether you are a business leader, friend, or partner, your decisions can make or break your success. Self-sabotage can be a major hurdle in achieving success, whether it’s in business or personal relationships. It’s a common tendency to make decisions based on emotions and mood rather than practicality and analysis, which can lead to self-sabotage. The reliance on hearsay and gossip can also contribute to making poor decisions. This article will discuss the effects of self-sabotage on business and relationships and how factual information can lead to better decision-making.

The Dangers of Hearsay

Ignorance is not an excuse for making decisions based on hearsay or assumptions. Whether you're a business owner, employee, or friend, it's essential to gather factual information before making any decisions that impact others. School-educated individuals who rely on hearsay or gossip are just as likely to sabotage their success as those who lack education.

Such individuals often live their lives gossiping and taking what others say as gospel. It is crucial to distance yourself from such individuals if you want to avoid self-sabotage in your business and relationships. By doing so, you put yourself in a much better position to succeed.

Avoid Making Assumptions About People

Whenever there's a dispute among employees, family, friends, or peers, it's essential to hear both sides of the argument before making any decisions. Being fair may hurt someone's ego, but it's crucial to make the fairest and most appropriate decision, even if it's not the easiest.

Many people make decisions based on hearsay or rumors without verifying the facts. This is a dangerous practice that can lead to costly mistakes and missed opportunities.

Make Decisions Based on Factual Information

Making decisions based on facts is the key to success. Individuals who are responsible for directing a group or organization should always make decisions based on sound factual information.

Having managed several organizations and groups over the years, I have always felt that for me to sleep better at night, it was imperative that the decisions I make that affected my employees or colleagues are based on factual data. Anytime there is a dispute amongst employees or peers, and it requires my involvement, I demand, and make certain, to hear both sides, or I would not make a decision on the matter.

The Importance of Fairness

As a manager or leader, it's essential to be fair in all decisions that affect employees or colleagues. This not only helps to build trust and respect but also ensures that the decision is based on the merits of the situation rather than personal biases or hearsay.

When there is a dispute amongst employees or peers, it's crucial to hear both sides of the argument before making a decision. By being fair, you can put your mind at ease knowing that you have made the most appropriate decision. Even if it hurts the ego of one of the parties involved, being fair is always the right thing to do.

Fairness is crucial in conflict resolution. It gives us a “put my mind at ease status”. There are times that being fair may hurt the ego of one of the two parties, however, we all get over that ego sentiment once we realize that it was the fairest and most appropriate decision. We tend to accept anything that others say to you about someone else, especially when you already have a tainted feeling about that someone else.

One common mistake that we as individuals make is to assume who someone is, based on the opinion of others. Social media and other information gathered in print media or emails bring us to making decisions about an individual before even meeting that individual. That is absolutely reckless. Do your own investigation about people you are interested in creating or maintaining a relation. Don’t make decisions based on what others say. When you want to know about anyone, the most direct, sensible, and more probable best way is to JUST ASK THAT PERSON. Get it from the source. You are most likely able to get the truth when asking directly. No filters. You can always sense if that person is not giving you the correct answers based on their body language and your instincts.

In today's world, businesses must maintain a good reputation to thrive. Making decisions based on hearsay can damage a business's reputation and lead to losses. The same applies to personal relationships. Making decisions based on emotions and hearsay can damage your relationships and lead to breakups or conflicts.

Take Responsibility for Your Actions

If you've made decisions about others based on hearsay or assumptions that have negatively affected them, it's essential to take responsibility for your actions and make things right. It's never too late to apologize and attempt to make reparations. Admitting to making the wrong decision and taking corrective action shows that you're a bigger and more powerful person.

Listen to Both Sides of a Dispute

As a mediator, I always insist on hearing both sides of the argument or dispute to ensure a fair resolution. Once both sides have been heard, it's easier to highlight the pros and cons of the situation and provide solutions that benefit both parties. The end result should always be a win-win situation for everyone involved. Being direct, factual, and decisive is the best way to run an operation, and it garners respect from your colleagues, employees, and friends.

Avoiding Self-Sabotage

Another way to avoid self-sabotage is to make sure you are setting achievable goals. Setting impossible goals can lead to frustration and burnout, which can make you want to give up altogether. Instead, break down larger goals into smaller, more manageable steps. This way, you can celebrate small victories along the way and feel motivated to keep going.

It's also important to recognize and challenge negative self-talk. When you constantly tell yourself that you can't do something or that you're not good enough, you start to believe it. This can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy where you don't even try because you don't believe you can succeed. Instead, try to reframe negative thoughts into more positive, empowering ones. For example, if you catch yourself thinking "I'm not good enough for this job," try reframing it as "I have the skills and experience to excel in this role, and I'm going to give it my best shot."

In addition to these strategies, it can also be helpful to seek support from others. Whether it's friends, family members, or a therapist, having someone to talk to about your goals and challenges can provide valuable perspective and motivation. Plus, having someone to hold you accountable can help you stay on track and avoid self-sabotage.


Self-sabotage is a common behavior that can prevent us from achieving our goals and living fulfilling lives. By understanding the root causes of self-sabotage and adopting strategies to overcome it, we can break free from these self-imposed limitations and reach our full potential. Remember to set achievable goals, challenge negative self-talk, and seek support when needed. With persistence and self-awareness, you can overcome self-sabotage and live the life you deserve.

Emotions and hearsay can hinder decision-making and lead to self-sabotage. By relying on facts, being fair, avoiding assumptions, and mediating conflicts, you can make more informed decisions that lead to success. If you have made a mistake, it's never too late to make things right and move forward.