Many times we confuse the word PRIDE because it has various definitions, as many words do. Here are a couple of definitions: 1.the state of being proud. 2. a high or inordinate opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.
However what we usually see happen is that some individuals become egotistic and conceited. This is the other side of PRIDE that tends to become a negative asset.
We have all been proud of the results in an exam, the job well done by our children, excellent work being done by an organization, the Olympic medals that were won, the relationships we have with certain individuals, etc. This is the great side of PRIDE.
I get to see relationships that become stagnant and usually dysfunctional because PRIDE gets in the way. Relationships should center on finding and sharing common ground. What are the things that we agree on? What are the things that you like about each other? Do you have enough in common that is worth developing? Is there a common single item that binds you together?
The answers to these questions should determine how you decide to manage your relationships. When you understand your goals you can make decisions that help in reaching them. The way you make certain to keep or make your relationship positive is too not inject PRIDE in the mix. Ego is not healthy for any relationship.
It takes mutual efforts to make a relationship work. In the case of a husband and wife, or two business partners both parties have to work at it. It can only be called a relationship if there is more than one person in it. Hence, both parties have to contribute to make it work. It is important to “agree to disagree” and to improve the identified areas of weakness. The best gift of any relationship is when both parties learn to accept the other. Each individual has inherent weaknesses and areas of development. However, there is no guarantee that that individual can make improvements the other party looks to see. Then, it is necessary to accept and concentrate in what can work.
We can’t always get one hundred percent of what we want. Know your limitations and embrace your strengths. Support and celebrate each other. Look for the positive things and you will find them. If you concentrate on the negative things you will always find them. Relationships can be successful if both parties agree to make it successful. That entails putting PRIDE aside. The journey is sweeter when you enjoy the trip. Love every minute and be patient that everything has a solution.
Solutions are always there when you keep an open mind. If something is not working the way you want it and you keep doing and reacting in the same manner, I assure you that you will get the same result. When you want a different outcome, you must change what you are doing that is not working.
So keep going and working on it…
If you wish to discuss this topic or others, do not hesitate to contact me by phone 973-390-2926 or vía email anibal@anibalalcantarajr.com
